"What the chat room has brought together, let no man put asunder."

"Our geography textbook is so old, every day we play 'What's wrong with this picture?'"

"Bob, I fetched the paper. Should I swing by to pick up a latte?"

"Enough with the Chicken Soup for the Soul. How about some pizza for the son?"

"O.K. - it's nap time. All cell phones off; switch pagers to vibrate."

"Yeah, they're filling, but I've really got a craving for carbohydrates."

"Have you picked out a domain name yet?"

"I used to run. Now I power-walk."

"On this model, the wife and kids are factory-installed."

"Go right at the first Starbucks, then left after the third Starbucks. You can't miss us. We're between two Starbucks."

"May I have your name for our customer database, and would you like a prospectus about our IPO?"

"I'm trying this thing called the 'balanced' diet."

"Before we learn this song, it's important to understand that cutting off the tail of a mouse is never acceptable."

"But on the plus side, I'm picking up HBO."

"Did you check to see if all the doors and windows are locked and we have enough in savings for the kids' college education and our retirement and enough insurance for long-term nursing home care and funeral expenses?"

"Mom says thanks for your list -- and here's a list of things you might like to volunteer to do at our house."

"This video of Billy's first day at school is due back in two days, Mom!"

"I'll level with you. You only have 106 years to live."

"Can I get a tattoo if I get one that says, 'Mom'?"

"It's a 10-minute recipe but a 40-minute cleanup."

"It's OK everybody. It's mine."

"That depends. Does a parking garage count as off-road?"