"I considered hormone replacement therapy. But for me, I decided husband replacement therapy worked much better."

"We're researching the effects of capital punishment. One will get a real bullet, and the other will get a placebo."

"I'm referring you to a colleague. He specializes in holistic medicine."

"I owe a co-pay?"

"Not only have the drug companies merged -- apparently, so have their pills."

"The good news is we caught it early, so it's just annoyed cow disease."

"This terrifying tale is about escalating health care costs. Or is that toooo scary?"