"Don't you have your own reality show?"

"If you give me control of the remote for the entire World Series, I'll give you 'Gilmore Girls' and two Thursday night shows to be named later."

"Iceberg dead ahead, captain! Also a seemingly endless stream of books, TV shows, musicals and movies!"

"But on the plus side, I'm picking up HBO."

"Contestant on a reality show -- and you?"

"My Mom refuses to watch CNN. She says as long as the home shopping channels are still on, she knows everything is OK."

"I forget. Are they turning a motorcycle into a lawn mower or a lawn mower into a motorcycle?"

"That's sweet. But I'd rather be a Bachelorette than a Desperate Housewife."

"Instead of going to summer camp this year, we just bought the DVD."